ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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