ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
