I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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