drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you will always have a special place in my vag
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
