thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When did angry sex become our thing?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
