Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
