dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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