just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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