I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
