Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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