I'm really into asian looking animals
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Green mimosas i think yes
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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