We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
