erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
