I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
