My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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