You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
