Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
