He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
