i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
