even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
