Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
