Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i barfeds in our rink
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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