Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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