even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
