I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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