I'm really into asian looking animals
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
