I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
