was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
