He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
