Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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