i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
