for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You pole danced in your parka.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
