actually, I'm a sock model
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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