Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
