I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
