Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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