She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
