i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
