Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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