Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
