STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
