I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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