I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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