I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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