boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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