what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
