Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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