careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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