Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
