Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
